Went for a few drinks (okay more than a few) with Stu and Ann Marie. Went to the Coasting Pilot, the Port and Neptune. Discovered a few truths about the people of Burry Port. Not ALL of them, the ones I know are fine but others can be assholes. Small town mindset again. It screws people up. It shapes an otherwise good soul into a bitter, narrow minded bigot.
Happy New F**king Year!!
Monday, 3 August 2009
Wednesday 29th December 1993
Zero Alcohol.
Felt like a drink today but I managed to resist. The films I ordered arrived, so thats another bill to pay. I don't really like the music/film club im a member of. They're a con pushing onto you things you don't want. Im going to get out of the damned thing.
Felt like a drink today but I managed to resist. The films I ordered arrived, so thats another bill to pay. I don't really like the music/film club im a member of. They're a con pushing onto you things you don't want. Im going to get out of the damned thing.
Tuesday 28th December 1993
Zero Alcohol.
The worst is over. Went to mums and won bucks playing bingo.
The worst is over. Went to mums and won bucks playing bingo.
Monday 27th December 1993
Zero Alcohol.
Listened to music. Sick all day and night. Really bad. Feeling utterly wretched. Thought about the things ive done to myself. Rabid self abuse. Im tearing my soul to tatters. My internal organs must be putrid, all mushed up. Thats what they feel like. Ive heard of hitting myself over the head but this is murder. Its the highs and lows of alcoholism and to a lesser degree pills. First I float then I crash into the trenches and creases of illness. This is truly a sick kingdom that I choose to inhabit. Quite fitting for the ghoul but very hard for my gentler side to take.
Listened to music. Sick all day and night. Really bad. Feeling utterly wretched. Thought about the things ive done to myself. Rabid self abuse. Im tearing my soul to tatters. My internal organs must be putrid, all mushed up. Thats what they feel like. Ive heard of hitting myself over the head but this is murder. Its the highs and lows of alcoholism and to a lesser degree pills. First I float then I crash into the trenches and creases of illness. This is truly a sick kingdom that I choose to inhabit. Quite fitting for the ghoul but very hard for my gentler side to take.
Sunday 26th December 1993
Payback time!! Ill, Ill and screwed up totally. Giving this shit up!! Too sick to write.
Saturday 25th December 1993
Christmas Day and I cannot remember f**k all. Only the alcohol. A fine household I live in *sarcasm*
Don't even remember opening any presents. My mother and gran are good people tho. They will get their deserved rewards in Heaven. Others will not. Amen....Oh and Merry Christmas!!
Don't even remember opening any presents. My mother and gran are good people tho. They will get their deserved rewards in Heaven. Others will not. Amen....Oh and Merry Christmas!!
Friday 24th December 1993
Christmas Eve the time of greed. A time when our default of hate turns on a sickly and very practiced good cheer. Don't believe it dear reader, its all a sham. A cruel, diseased sham at that.
Went to Mums on the back of the bike with Stu. Also went to Pontyates. Sat in Antz's house doing speed, Mogadons and drink. Well who wants to be around this planet on Christmas?? The festive spirit is a fine idea but we scabbed it over with poisoned good will. Tis a time when enemies will talk to you but none will forgive you so its pointless. There is an art to spite and deceit and humans have it mastered.
Went to Mums on the back of the bike with Stu. Also went to Pontyates. Sat in Antz's house doing speed, Mogadons and drink. Well who wants to be around this planet on Christmas?? The festive spirit is a fine idea but we scabbed it over with poisoned good will. Tis a time when enemies will talk to you but none will forgive you so its pointless. There is an art to spite and deceit and humans have it mastered.
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